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This is a collection of thoughts, public comments and unsolicited advice we have received since the beginning way back in the Reagan Years (we don't remember them much either) of 1986:

"Beer is proof God loves us and wants us to be happy."

~Benjamin Franklin

"Beer is made by man, wine is made by God."

~Martin Luther

"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline -- it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer."

~Frank Zappa

"He was a wise man who invented beer."

~Plato

"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."

~Humphrey Bogart

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."

~Dean Martin

"A woman drove me to drink and I never had the courtesy to thank her."

~W.C. Fields

"Work is the curse of the drinking class."

~Oscar Wilder

"I once read about the evils of drinking, so I gave up reading."

~Henny Youngman (thanx jeffrey livingston)

A GOOD PUN IS ITS OWN REWORD!

* Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.

* A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.

* Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

* A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

* Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

* I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

* If electricity comes from electrons... does that mean that morality
comes from morons?

* A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

* Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

* Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?

* Banning the bra was a big flop.

* Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

* Does the name Quasimodo ring a bell?

* A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

* Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

* A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

* Without geometry, life is pointless.

* When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.

* Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.

* When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

* Alarms: What an octopus is.

* Dockyard: A physician's garden.

* Incongruous: Where bills are passed.

* Khakis: What you need to start the car in Boston.

* Pasteurize: Too far to see

(Thanx, Bill)

Before we work on artificial intelligence, why don¹t we do something about
natural stupidity.
~steve polyak

Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.
~ogden nash

Just because everything is different doesn¹t mean anything has changed.
~irene peter

³A skeleton walks into a bar and says, Give me a beer and a mop.''
~willie nelson's joke standards

³What did the Minnesotan say to the Pillsbury Doughboy? Nice tan.''
~willie nelson's joke standards

³A neutron walks into a bar and says, 'How much for a beer?' And the
bartender says, 'For you, no charge.'''~willie nelson's joke standards

"Its not the heat, its the humility."

~yogi berra

"Nobody can do everything, but everybody can do something"

~anonymous

"You have to be the change you want to see in the world."

~Mohandas K. Gandhi